Baby SKYY, Baby DARVON, and Baby INFINITI, too! Bellevue psychology PROFESSOR CLEVELAND EVANS of the AMERICAN NAME SOCIETY has discovered an alarming trend. More and more parents in the US are naming their newborns after America's favorite, most trusted brand names. Look for daycare and pre-schools soon to enroll toddlers named L'OREAL and ARMANI. Several sports fans have already boys named ESPN, some canned vegetable enthusiasts have named their sons DEL MONTE, while a few boot fetishists have children named TIMBERLAND. Future parents will no less be keeping their daughters away from schoolyard players like little COURVOISIER, who hangs out behind the handball courts. "It is no different from the 19th century when parents named their children RUBY or OPAL... it reflects their aspirations." Remember CHARITY, HOPE, and CHASTITY? Stay tuned for a landslide of lawsuits and multi-million dollar marketing deals to come. The score now stands: corporate marketing 1, reason 0.
posted by Jimbo Trout @ Friday, November 14, 2003